That One Time, When I Almost Moved to SF.

As previously promised, I would like to share with you the story of my ‘almost’ move to the lovely City by the Bay, aka, San Francisco.

In a nutshell, I visited this land (come on, SF is literally its own land in more ways than one, wouldn’t you agree?) for the first time in the summer of 2006. Somehow, I fell for its quirky vibrancy, free flowing lifestyle, unexplored territories, and all that falls in between.

Since first meeting the city, I have visited 4 times. A couple of times recreationally, but a couple for ‘business.’ And that ‘business’ was simply to move there and attend the Academy of Art University.

Let’s put it this way. I prayed, prayed, prayed on this one. I wanted it to the core of my being. I envisioned my life, finding a hip church where I could get involved, coffee with new friends from all over the world, reconnecting with old friends who call this place their home, establishing myself in the thriving art scene, someday. I had the blessings of my parents. I had the support of my friends. I decided the best course of action would be to plug myself into a local nanny agency, and go from there. And I did all that. I met with a counselor at the Academy, to discuss finances, loans, and academic transfers. I discussed the possibility with my boss. I even went to a well known agency, and filled out all the paperwork.

And that was when I knew the answer was no. I was sitting there, in the agency meeting room, alone with a stack of papers. In the midst of filling out my education, my experience, my this, and my that, I looked up at the panoramic window overlooking the buildings towards downtown. I marveled at the view. I noticed the sky was brilliantly blue. I thought about how it was windy that day, and cold. And then, out of nowhere, I understood that God had literally taken me as far as I was to go in that journey.

I truly believe the purpose of all of that was to trust God, to step out in faith, to follow Him. And every door opened along the way. Until they were shut. It was a growing time for me; a time to listen to His gentle calling. And I felt His peace in knowing I was finished, before I had truly begun. There, at least.

Two years have past since then. I don’t regret not going, but sometimes can’t help but wonder what it would have been like to go. I’ve also struggled with the feeling of being in ‘limbo’. Not knowing for certain where or what God is calling me to do. I’ve felt Him working on my heart, in my life, in ways that are personal, and meaningful, to me. It is all about the journey, I’ve come to understand.

I firmly believe that God used that time in my life to nudge me from my comfort zone. To look beyond complacency, and to trust that, because of Him, I can have the courage to step out and discover something new about myself.

Even more so, this experience allowed me to see another way in which waiting on His timing in life is never wasted.